Showing posts with label misunderstanding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label misunderstanding. Show all posts

Monday, 8 March 2021

More Than Capable

 12/25


“I am sure your son is very capable Mrs. Patton, but the fact is we simply don't have any roles available for him – not permanent and certainly not for this weekend's convention.” The small blonde spoke in a measured and firm tone in stark contrast to the squawked rant just unloaded by Alistair's Mom. Alistair shifted uneasily in his seat. So far the conversation had taken place as if he wasn't even there despite the fact it was about him.


“Capable?!” Glenda Patton shrieked from across the desk in a manner that made him want to shrink from sight. “My Alistair is more than capable. In fact, if it wasn't for his recent knee surgery, he would be starting college on a basketball scholarship. He can do anything you need him to. He just needs a bit of a push when in comes to getting a job. That's why I'm here!” His Mom folded her arms adamantly.


“I understand,” the blonde woman replied. “But, as I already explained, we're simply not hiring right now.”


“Not hiring?!” Glenda nearly exploded. “Of course you're hiring. There's a poster right outside your office that says 'Staff Wanted', Not hiring indeed....”


The blonde woman sighed. “Mrs. Patton, those roles are just waitressing jobs for this weekend's convention. Obviously we can't legally state on the poster that we're only hiring girls but, I mean, we've already hired the uniforms.”


“Wait staff?!” his mother practically yelled. “Why, Alistair could do that standing on his head. He worked at Starbucks all through high-school. He's very capable. He just needs a chance. I'm sure you can make an exception, can't you? Unless you want me to report you for illegal hiring practices...”


That weekend at the convention, Alistair still couldn't decide who had stitched him up. Had his mother known this would happen when she insisted on the exception – a way to punish his ineptitude in the job market, or was the insistence he comply with uniform his new boss's revenge for Mrs. Patton's boorish behaviour. Either way, he was stitched up alright – stitched up in a maid's uniform and stockings – his lack of delight only equalled by the pleasure his co-workers took in doing his makeup.


“Alistair!” He snapped out of his concentration for not falling on his towering heels to see his blonde boss marching towards him. “What are you doing?” she beckoned sternly to the plates of cake in his hands. “Use a tray for God's sake!” she pointed to a pile under a table in the corner. Alistair glanced pleadingly at his injured knee he couldn't bend. “No buts!” the woman snapped. “You're more than capable!” No buts? Alistair wanted to cry. There would be plenty of butt for everyone when he leaned over at the hips to pick up trays in this tiny outfit..



Saturday, 10 October 2020

Bazonkas!

 15/25

I had problems with the colour profile of this one and had to do it in greyscale so I apologise if the dual dialogue isn't the easiest to read.

In better news, I finished writing this season last night so I can start working on the next one, which is about 80% planned out. 


Good evening, you're through to UltraReal Bodysuits Customer Care. This is Bonnie speaking on Felicity's phone. How can I help today?

Bazonkas!!

A...what now?

The password...Bazonkas!

I see..well, sir, I don't know who you are but I am hanging up now.

NO! Please help me! I need to get out of this bodysuit.

Okay, of course. I can do that. Can I take your name please, sir?

Yes..errr, it is Detective Alan Graham.

Okay, let's see here...oh, I am sorry sir, but we don't currently have any bodysuits loaned out to anyone with that name.

No, of course you don't. I am undercover. My name isn't on any of the paperwork for security purposes. I have a password and this number for if I need to be let out in an emergency. No one else knows I am here except my handler, and she has gone missing.

Here, as in where? I don't know anything about this.

The mob. I've infiltrated a sex-trafficking ring as a gangster's secretary but the whole operation is falling apart and I have heard rumours I am going to be sold...wait?! Didn't you say you were covering someone's phone?

Oh, yes. I'm just here on work experience. Felicity has been training me. She's just gone to get the coffee...

That must be it...please, when Felicity gets back, you need to tell her 'Bazonkas'!

Sure! Anything I can do to help the po...wait a sec...I see what is going on here. You must think I was born yesterday...

No, no, no please...you have to help me. Just shout Bazonkas to Felicity and she will know what to do...

Right...and I'm the Easter Bunny. No way am I making a fool of myself for your amusement. Undercover with the mob...really...you must think I am a total bimbo...

No! But I will be if you don't help me. Please...

I am hanging up now sir.

Please help me!

Good luck with your Bazonkas!


Saturday, 26 September 2020

The Rumours of my Feminisation Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

 1/25

AND...HERE...WE....GO!! The first caption I wrote in nearly four years. I will admit I was a little rusty and they get better (IMO!!) but you gotta start somewhere so it seemed a fitting place to begin Season 4



Seth stared across the desk at the two women who held his fate in their well-manicured hands as they pawed their way delicately through his university application. The admissions office appeared to shrink giving him a front row to seat to every wrinkle of the nose and he clenched his seat with both his hands and butt cheeks in anticipation of the next question in his grilling.


If only they knew how much rested on their decision. Not just his future. His pride, his sanity, his redemption and his escape rolled into one. But alas, how could they understand the living hell that had become his final year of high school?


It had all started with that year's season of Ru Paul. There had been the usual casting call for auditions and some bright spark had photoshopped an application of Seth in drag and put it on social media. It wasn't clear if people believed it was real. It didn't matter. They wanted it to be real and so it went viral all the same. The teasing followed and even those who didn't ridicule him but rather supported him and his 'bravery' were unable to see him as anything other than his supposed alter ego, Crystal Beth. Things reached critical mass when he realised even his parents weren't 100% sure if it was real or not. He had to get out.


The first admissions officer looked up from his application and sighed while her colleague continued to type notes on her laptop. “You know we get so many applications,” she began carefully, “and it is awfully difficult to stand out. Good grades just aren't enough these days. If only you had something else...some pezazzz.” Seth could feel his hopes slipping through his fingers in the awkward silence that followed. Suddenly, the second admissions officer stopped her typing and blinked widely. She nudged her colleague and seconds later they were both looking at the laptop screen with wide smiles.


“Is this you?” She turned the laptop around and Seth's heart sank as he saw she had been looking at his mocked up Ru Paul application. “You know, when we do social media background checks on our applicants, we very rarely find anything positive, but this is perfect. Not only do we put great stock in the performing arts but we take pride in our academia leading LGBTQ+ community.” She stood and offered out her hand. “Mr. Walker, welcome aboard.” Seth took her hand nervously. “Of course, your participation in our arts will be monitored. We want to make sure you are getting the most out of your time here at BTRU.”


It was 3 months later and Seth was standing in the dressing room before the first weekly meeting of the student union Drag Arts Club. His skin felt like it was melting beneath the caked on layers of makeup and even with a summer's worth of practising getting ready under his belt, he still wasn't used to the weight of the thick vinyl dress. Making a silent note to buy something more airy once his student loans came in, he turned to join the rest of the club eager to meet a former Ru Paul applicant.


Thursday, 10 March 2016

Monday, 22 February 2016

Titor and Tighter Part 1

Would really like to spread some love to Alixtg. Alixtg is one of my favorite captioners and someone whose style has influenced my own as much as anyone. Alix had his blogspot unceremoniously closed down over the weekend so now you can find all captions on his DA profile. Absolutley worth checking out.




Saturday, 2 January 2016

Monday, 7 December 2015

Going Down Payment

This is a trade caption I made for the excellent sissifyme220, a fantastic capper who makes wonderful forcedfem and sissy caps in a style reminiscent of Elena Starz. Definitely worth checking out.


Saturday, 21 November 2015

On Demand

This was a request for Kitty St. Clare


Thursday, 15 October 2015

Monkeyboned

This is a request I received by email.


Thursday, 2 July 2015

Virtually Reality

I hadn't planned on posting this one today. In fact I've been putting it off since I don't like it very much. I made it as a backup for 'Clocksucker' for Rachel's Haven June Caption Contest and I'm posting it today because I just found out that Clocksucker was voted 2nd and this cap got a mention for best fitting the theme, which was 'things going wrong'.


Friday, 20 February 2015

A Work of Art

This caption is a request for Amber Harland